Monday, March 31, 2008

I was saving this for Wednesday but it's way too long for a WTF

So Friday morning in Toronto I slept in. I had 35 minutes to pack up all my stuff, make sure nothing was left behind in the hotel room, check out, and hike over to the day's training session. No problem! Oh wait, I should probably eat breakfast. Of course, the route I took was surprisingly devoid of Tim Hortons, until I realized that the PATH was hiding all the coffee underground.

For those not in the know, the PATH is a warren of tunnels beneath Toronto's downtown that will take you past hundreds of storefronts while leading you in the least direct route to your destination. I have the map on my Palm but still managed to repeatedly get turned around and lost. After plotting out my route on the PATH map from my hotel room near Commerce Court to the Eaton Centre, a journey traversing west, then north, then hooking back east, I realized I was in fact half a kilometer south of my endpoint if I just walked up the street. But back to my breakfast...

So I head down into the PATH to find a food court. By this time I was most definitely going to be late for training anyhow, but as I was the only student being trained and the people training me are pretty laid back, I wasn't worried. However, the mob curling its way around the barely-open food court leading to the Tim Hortons deterred me enough that I chose instead to go to the Mmmmuffins, boasting a whole lineup of one person.

Now, seemingly random segue to 13 years ago, before the nearby mall in which I worked even HAD a Tim Hortons (now I believe there are at least seventeen within a block) there was a Mmmmuffins. I recall distinctly being late for work and deciding to grab not one but two muffins. These things were MASSIVE. They were hydrocephalic muffins. If Dora the Explorer was a muffin...

In any case, I don't think I was able to even eat both muffins that day so long ago, so when, last Friday morn, I was presented with a cupcake-sized oatmeal-raisin dealie I was a little annoyed - if your business name is Mmmmuffins, what should your focus be? Coffee? Try-Our-Fantastic-New-Paninis? No. You are not Ppppaninis, so get back to your MUFFINS.

I'm not sure if this was just that specific franchise stiffing the public or what - maybe there's been a change in paradigm since Tim Hortons started pumping out competing Fruit Explosions. What I got was most definitely an uffin.

4 comments:

Lida said...

Costco is the only place I've seen those "old fashion" giant muffins these days :(

JennyB said...

ask your wife how many points are in one of those huge Mmmmmuffins.

(slightly) less cynical said...

She said 20 points... not sure if that's an exaggeration or not, but she doesn't have to eat them! Hey, if they were soy and milk free they'd be perfect for fattening up the child...

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