Successful peanut butter use

On April 1st, 1993, the following Calvin and Hobbes comic was published:

(Calvin is looking aghast into a jar of peanut butter)
Calvin: Aaugh! The peanut butter is ruined! You're supposed to scoop one half straight down and then dig out the other side from the bottom, so part of the top remains undisturbed until the very end!
Calvin's mom (perplexed): What on earth for?
Calvin (as if this should be completely obvious): It's a ritual! You have to keep the top of the peanut butter smooth!
Calvin's mom: Maybe you should make your own sandwiches.
Calvin: If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life. Did you cut the bread diagonally?

As I've been the only peanut butter eater in the house for the past 27 weeks, I was able to successfully coat my bagel (for the first time in almost 15 years) with the smooth surface of the last of a small jar of peanut butter! Now to tackle a new challenge: a large jar... OF CHUNKY!