Monday, January 26, 2009


So, Lara managed to shift enough stuff around in the basement room last week that I was able to start the great two-floor clutter shift! Lara was away this weekend, and Kiernan took an hour before finally going to sleep on Saturday, but then it was time to relocate the ancient (IKEA) shelving/desk unit in ten easy steps!

Step one: Take everything off of the lowest shelf under the window. Put it all into an empty box. Disassemble the two shelves and bring them downstairs.

Step two: Take everything off the corner section. Put it all in the area where the low section was, as well as onto the dresser top that was brought upstairs. Realize that the only way to get the CRT monitor out of this corner section is to lift it at an awkward angle straight up over the two shelf supports. Avoid head injuries (that will come later). Bring corner pieces downstairs.

Step three: Take everything off the shelves above the cupboard section, placing them on the floor in the corner. Wish you had more than one empty box. Disassemble the shelves and bring them downstairs, leaving the heavy, and bulky, and cluttered cupboard behind.

Step four: Empty and transport the shelves above the desk. Realize that disassembling the desk section itself will be very noisy and Kiernan will wake up. Luckily the corner section should now be able to be assembled, using the one corner support and the support from the cupboard section. Hurray for IKEA and their interchangeable parts!

Step five: Remember that it always took two people to assemble the corner section.

Step six: Assemble the corner section alone.

Step seven: Stand back and admire assembled corner section!

Step eight: Oh, wait, the middle shelf looks askew. Right, the pegs in the corner support need to be moved up one notch. I'll need to hold this corner section vertical with one hand and move the pegs with the other, so I'll carefully push the shelf up the corner support using my head... now I'll move them up a hole, and lower the shelf back downwaitwhat'sthatslidingnoise?

Step nine: Have top shelf fall on the middle shelf. Extract self and in the process have the middle shelf fall as well, with the side supports falling away.

Step ten: Since no concussion has occurred, repeat steps five through seven then wait until wife gets home on Sunday to continue the assembly.