The TATTLENET TATTLEAWARD goes to..

Back around 15 years ago, pre-internet, there were these things called Bulletin Board Systems, or BBSs. A person would set up a BBS on their computer and other people would dial in to exchange messages, share files, or play games. Picture it like Facebook, only for people in your local area, and only if one person could log in at a time. Technology was amazing!

Some BBSs were connected together in a network - when no one was logged into the BBS, that BBS would call up another BBS, they'd transfer the messages between each other, and you could get a response to your message from a completely different BBS in like two or three days! Amazing!

Anyhow, the reason for this post is to talk about the sad sad fate of one of my most prized possessions. You see, there was a network of BBSs called TATTLENET, run by Bonehead and Vanity Flair of Land of the Lone Butthead BBS. TATTLENET was fun - they had restaurant meetups which the dubbed Bonehead's Secret Tea Parties and meets in the park called Vanity's Vicious Volleyball Tourneys (VVVTs). I own both TATTLENET T-shirts, and the alias I used (Rigor Mortis, how fancy and dark) at the time is listed on both.

One year at a Secret Tea Party, the inaugural TATTLEAWARDS were given out. I won TATTLENET'S BIGGEST FLAG-WAVER (Bonehead had posted a message one day asking for people to advertise TATTLENET in the most exuberant manner possible - the first three people doing so would receive a bottle of Pepsi. As he had not explicitly specified to do so elsewhere, I responded immediately within the same message forum. Because I'm hilarious that way. Not to be one-upped, a few weeks later a confused looking Fed Ex deliveryman dropped off a box from "Land of The Lone Butthead" containing a bottle of Pepsi) The awards given out each consisted of a labeled styrofoam cup with three plastic forks and a ball of aluminum foil forming a T on top.

The night after winning this award, I posted a message describing how I'd been approached on the bus by a group of girls asking what it was that I was holding. They were less than impressed with my explanation, and walked away. I felt so suave.

The following year the awards were held again. We got to the end and I had no award. Then out of nowhere an announcement was made - there was one more award to give out. There was some sort of speech about great contributions, blah blah blah, then out of a large bag came a TATTLEAWARD. It looked just like any other TATTLEAWARD, cup, forks, and foil. Only it had sequins.



Oh, and also:



Everyone whooped and called out "Speech! Speech!" I stood up, waited for the noise to die down and said "Ladies, gentlemen, (oh, and Bonehead), thank you very much for this award. I'd like to say one thing, and that is this: Today is a very special day, because today... I drove here."

And now I say goodbye to this dust collector, as it travels to its final resting place in the garbage. Or blue box. I don't know, are sequins recyclable?

Not thrown out:

The Death of Flaming BBS award:


And for some reason I just can't let go of this:

Drive-through association

With a couple of blog posts queued up awaiting related photographs, along comes a quick anecdote that doesn't require any...

Kiernan and I were sent on a mission for breakfast. Since Lara has started her soy-free milk-free diet to prepare the twins' digestive systems, that gives us one option: McDonald's.

So while Lara reclines back at the house, Kiernan and I headed off to the drive-through.

Pulling up to the speaker I begin: "I'd like two #5 BLT Bagel combos --"
From the back seat: "and Timbits!"
"-- one with coffee and two sugars --"
"AND Timbits!"
"-- the other with a milk"
"AND! TIMBITS!"
"Kiernan, that's a different restaurant."
"Oh okay."
"And hotcakes, please."
You could tell the guy on the speaker was stifling laughter. "Will that be everything, sir?"
"AND! TIMBITS!"

Cards, anyone?

I ordered four decks of the previously mentioned Desjgn Cards, in Gray Moonstone, Black Opal, Green Emerald, and Orange Coral. I'm wishing I'd gone for some Purple Spinel and Brown Topaz as well, but maybe in the future... because the current six decks of plastic playing cards in the house is not enough should I ever decide to open a casino in my so-uncluttered basement.

Anyway, for the first two days of his life Kiernan had no name. This was because Lara and I couldn't decide between the names Kiernan and Quinn. Now we're pretty sure of the names of both of the upcoming twins, but Quinn fell off the list of favourites long ago isn't even an option for either the boy or the girl.

The other day Lara casually mentions "Too bad we don't like the name Quinn anymore."
"Why's that?" I asked.
"Kiernan, Quinn, and Juliette - K Q J"
Blank stare from me.
"King Queen Jack?" she offered.
"I understand that. I was just thinking how I suddenly like the name Quinn again."

Unfortunately it's apparently not an option anymore.

I bought an iPod Touch on Thursday and downloaded a bunch of free apps. One was a game called Jelly Car. The controls are simple - touch the left side of the screed to go left, the right side of the screen to go right, and tap the car to grow or shrink it.

So yesterday, when Kiernan was acting up at his great-grandmother's, and we forgot to bring books or toys to distract him. I whipped out Jelly Car to show him. Because the controls are so simple, Kiernan played his first video game AND got a high score. Sure, it was on an easy level in which no weird physics puzzles are involved, but that's pretty good for a two and a half year old.

Bite-strength exceeding his actual weight...

As a piece of food approaches your mouth, you can generally preconceive the degree of softness and adjusts how hard you're going to bite down to penetrate it.

Whether it's a marshmallow or a piece of chewy beef, however, a two and a half year old apparently bites down as hard as he can to get his teeth through as fast as possible. If dad's finger happens to be in there a, it is painful as hell.

Of course, since biting is not allowed, Kiernan was inconsolable - despite being told it was an accident and telling him the throbbing digit was okay (lie to your children, everyone!) he sobbed for at least ten minutes. You'd think I bit him.

You set up a blog post half a year in advance...

... and then discover youtube's doing the same thing as you.

So now I look like I'm copying youtube.

ǝɯıʇƃolq

¡oʇ ʇǝƃ oʇ sƃuıɥʇ "lɹıƃ" ǝsoɥʇ ʇnoqɐ lɐnuɐɯ ǝuǝıƃʎɥ ǝloɥʍ ɐ s,ǝɹǝɥʇ puɐ ɹǝʇɥƃnɐp ɐ ƃuıʌɐɥ ɯ,ı 'dɐɹɔ ʎloɥ -
¡ɯǝɥʇ puıɥǝq sǝıɹoʇs unɟ ǝɥʇ ǝsnoɥ ǝɥʇ ɯoɹɟ pǝʇɔıʌǝ ƃuıǝq ʎllnɟǝɔɹoɟ ǝɹɐ ɥɔıɥʍ ǝuıɯ ɟo sƃuıɥʇ -
¡ǝlqɐɯɯɐɹƃoɹdǝɹ sı uıɐɹq uɐɯnɥ ǝɥʇ -

:uoos ƃuıɯoɔ ʇnq ˙˙˙ɯǝɥʇ ǝʇıɹʍ ʎllɐnʇɔɐ oʇ ǝɯıʇ ǝlʇʇıl ooʇ ǝʞıl slǝǝɟ ʇɐɥʍ puɐ '(ʇɹɐd-ıʇlnɯ ǝɯos) sɐǝpı ʇsod ƃolq ɟo suoʇ