"What sound does caffeine make daddy?"
"Um... What?"
"You said caffeine wakes you and mommy up."
Monday, September 6, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
(slightly) more bathroom stories
"What's that box daddy?"
The metal box in question was attached to the bathroom stall wall.
"I'm not sure." I lifted the angled lid and saw it was empty, but had a slot at the bottom. Instructions were printed on the underside of the lid on how to load the box... with maxi pads.
"What are the instructions for?"
"I don't know, it doesn't say..." I lied.
"Maybe the box is for holding books." Kiernan decided.
"Probably!" I agreed as we flushed, exited, and double-checked that there were in fact urinals in the bathroom.
The metal box in question was attached to the bathroom stall wall.
"I'm not sure." I lifted the angled lid and saw it was empty, but had a slot at the bottom. Instructions were printed on the underside of the lid on how to load the box... with maxi pads.
"What are the instructions for?"
"I don't know, it doesn't say..." I lied.
"Maybe the box is for holding books." Kiernan decided.
"Probably!" I agreed as we flushed, exited, and double-checked that there were in fact urinals in the bathroom.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Like a soap dispenser?
I can't imagine what it is like to overhear some of the conversations coming out of the stalls in public washrooms which contain Kiernan and myself.
"I peed."
"Okay, so you're done?"
"No, I need to poo."
"Okay. Go ahead."
I cringe as the over-dramatic grunting sounds begin. Luckily, these don't last long for once.
"It's not working."
"So you're done."
"No, I still need to poo."
"Okay, try some more."
"Help me daddy!"
"Uh, help you how?"
"Push down on my head!"
"Um. Who told you that pushing down on your head helps you go to the bathroom?"
"I told myself."
"I don't think that actually helps."
"Yes it DOES."
"Okay okay." I acquiesce.
What do you know, it apparently does help.
"I peed."
"Okay, so you're done?"
"No, I need to poo."
"Okay. Go ahead."
I cringe as the over-dramatic grunting sounds begin. Luckily, these don't last long for once.
"It's not working."
"So you're done."
"No, I still need to poo."
"Okay, try some more."
"Help me daddy!"
"Uh, help you how?"
"Push down on my head!"
"Um. Who told you that pushing down on your head helps you go to the bathroom?"
"I told myself."
"I don't think that actually helps."
"Yes it DOES."
"Okay okay." I acquiesce.
What do you know, it apparently does help.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Touch the Interactivity! FEEL it!
Museums these days have a ton of interactivity - knobs to turn, touchscreens to touch, doors to open, costumes to try on, fish to measure, shells to fondle - children often get bored if they're not forced to do something other than stare at exhibits.
We now have a family pass to the newly-renovated Canadian Museum of Nature, also known to Kiernan alternately as "The Dinosaur Museum" or the "Castle Museum". Kiernan got to go there three times in the span of a week, two of those times with me. The second time we went, Kiernan dragged me over to a display in the Mammal Gallery, talking about how humans are mammals too.
Four doors sat closed on an inclined display, the first of which Kiernan flipped up, revealing a small cupboard containing a mass of hair. "Feel this daddy!" he said, so I did as I read the explanation to him how humans have hair and that's like the fur and hair of animals.
The far right panel had a picture of teeth on it, and I wondered what sort of display was beneath - actual teeth? But sadly it was just a mirror, and I explained "You're supposed to smile to show your teeth in the mirror because mammals have teeth." We both grinned at our reflections.
The door second from the left was Kiernan's next choice - A heat-sensing pad that changed colours when you touched it showed that humans are warm blooded. "Touch this daddy!" Kiernan demanded, and I did, though it wasn't as impressive as Hypercolour shirts were in the 90s.
The final panel, second from the right, read "Human babies breast feed when young". I thought "Okay, what's going to be under this panel?" until Kiernan flipped it up and I said "Ah, of course."
There lay a single felt breast nestled in its cubby beneath the door. "Look daddy! Touch this daddy!" Kiernan began poking at the boob.
"Yeah, that's okay, you feel it."
"DADDY. You have to touch it!" he demanded, getting louder.
"Okay okay okay." I prodded the breast.
"Touch it here!" he pinched at the bulbous areola sewn in the middle.
"Let's go around to the other side and see how hot you are on the the heat sensing camera"
"TOUCH IT DADDY!"
I reached out and quickly gave it quick pinch. "Yup, that's great, Kier."
"Does it feel cool?"
"For sure." I agreed, because these days tweaking muppet nipples is the epitome of cool.
We now have a family pass to the newly-renovated Canadian Museum of Nature, also known to Kiernan alternately as "The Dinosaur Museum" or the "Castle Museum". Kiernan got to go there three times in the span of a week, two of those times with me. The second time we went, Kiernan dragged me over to a display in the Mammal Gallery, talking about how humans are mammals too.
Four doors sat closed on an inclined display, the first of which Kiernan flipped up, revealing a small cupboard containing a mass of hair. "Feel this daddy!" he said, so I did as I read the explanation to him how humans have hair and that's like the fur and hair of animals.
The far right panel had a picture of teeth on it, and I wondered what sort of display was beneath - actual teeth? But sadly it was just a mirror, and I explained "You're supposed to smile to show your teeth in the mirror because mammals have teeth." We both grinned at our reflections.
The door second from the left was Kiernan's next choice - A heat-sensing pad that changed colours when you touched it showed that humans are warm blooded. "Touch this daddy!" Kiernan demanded, and I did, though it wasn't as impressive as Hypercolour shirts were in the 90s.
The final panel, second from the right, read "Human babies breast feed when young". I thought "Okay, what's going to be under this panel?" until Kiernan flipped it up and I said "Ah, of course."
There lay a single felt breast nestled in its cubby beneath the door. "Look daddy! Touch this daddy!" Kiernan began poking at the boob.
"Yeah, that's okay, you feel it."
"DADDY. You have to touch it!" he demanded, getting louder.
"Okay okay okay." I prodded the breast.
"Touch it here!" he pinched at the bulbous areola sewn in the middle.
"Let's go around to the other side and see how hot you are on the the heat sensing camera"
"TOUCH IT DADDY!"
I reached out and quickly gave it quick pinch. "Yup, that's great, Kier."
"Does it feel cool?"
"For sure." I agreed, because these days tweaking muppet nipples is the epitome of cool.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Blogher: The aftermath
Tears, temper tantrums, and wailing was expected.
Lara surprisingly didn't do any of the three.
I drove over to Lara's parents, where she was driven to from the airport. She had situated herself in a back room so I could bring one twin in at a time. Juliette fell asleep on the way, and Quinn was happily chatting in his car seat, so when I was told to bring in the crankier twin I defaulted to Juliette.
When Lara returns to a room after being away four minutes, it's mass chaos, with screaming babies fighting for her attention. Four days away and she just got a huge grin and a cuddle. When Quinn was brought in soon after, he only seemed interested in giant hugs instead of nursing.
Kiernan was overtired and excited, a fabulous combination for misbehavior, but everyone managed to make it through dinner and home with all the swag (that she didn't need to leave behind in the hotel room).
Apparently next year Blogher is in San Diego, I can't wait... to leave the kids behind and tag along...
Lara surprisingly didn't do any of the three.
I drove over to Lara's parents, where she was driven to from the airport. She had situated herself in a back room so I could bring one twin in at a time. Juliette fell asleep on the way, and Quinn was happily chatting in his car seat, so when I was told to bring in the crankier twin I defaulted to Juliette.
When Lara returns to a room after being away four minutes, it's mass chaos, with screaming babies fighting for her attention. Four days away and she just got a huge grin and a cuddle. When Quinn was brought in soon after, he only seemed interested in giant hugs instead of nursing.
Kiernan was overtired and excited, a fabulous combination for misbehavior, but everyone managed to make it through dinner and home with all the swag (that she didn't need to leave behind in the hotel room).
Apparently next year Blogher is in San Diego, I can't wait... to leave the kids behind and tag along...
Sunday, August 8, 2010
3:30pm: 2.5 hours to go!
The babies have obviously decided they don't need this whole "nursing" thing - an excellent substitute is big hugs for daddy.
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